There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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