I am in a vortex of obligation.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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