theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
