we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
