I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
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If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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