so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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