that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
