So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize