Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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