That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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