ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
