So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
