The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
