what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
