Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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