It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
