don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
