I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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