you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
