I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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