She just used a chaser for red wine.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
