Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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