omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
