apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
