I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
