Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
