I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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