a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
