Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
