Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
