Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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