My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
