shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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