Having a random hookup so left but love u
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
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The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
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Boobs speak an international language.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.