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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.

  Fav 40 1178 3795

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.

  Fav 10 2436 1229

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk

  Fav 37 1826 9127

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.

  Fav 31 1675 4485

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.

  Fav 21 4170 907

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• 

  The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen

  Fav 13 1611 679

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?

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