I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
