I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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