3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
