I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
