She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
