i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
