I'm really into asian looking animals
Sponge bath it is.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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