Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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