oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
