your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
