508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
