Soap is not a condiment
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize