You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
