I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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