There is no way he is gay with that hair.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
