Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
