New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
