i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
