Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
