i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
