if you like me you must not know who I am
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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