Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
