What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
