im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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